My husband’s aunt, the eldest in the family, passed away. She was practically fading away before our eyes. Her kidneys stopped functioning, but she could get well. She was a mother of three children. All hale and hearty, and happily married. She has been suffering for sometime. The usual stuff, high bp, diabetes, heart problem. I still don’t know how it attacked her kidney so soon. I was not close to her, I met her occasionally, and she always behaved sweetly. No acid comments, no taciturn gazes. In a way I liked her. I was usually myself while I visited her, she would never complain even if I never spoke after the initial formal exchanges. What I mean she had very less expectation from life. Her husband passed away at an early age and she managed everything herself. They were rich and money was not a problem. She single handedly educated her two daughters and her only son. Speaking of her son, she even gracefully accepted her Punjabi daughter-in-law. I was amazed to hear that she cooked two different meal everyday. A full course Bengali meal and a strict vegetarian meal for her daughter in law. Being a Punjabi and a vegetarian, she couldn’t stand Bengali food. Her son, aunt’s grandchild spoke in hindi to his mother and sometimes with all the other family members. Since he is in Kolkata and in a Bengali family, I never spoke hindi with him and the child understood after our first meeting.

I wanted to analyse Jethima’s (My Husband’s aunt) household. Her husband was a dictator, his command was supreme. Jethima was a mother cum cook cum wife in his household, without any power. Her two daughter’s have quivering shadowy personalities. Strangely enough, you will never feel their presence even after sitting and sharing the same sofa for hours. Thanks to their father’s reign they were just shadows moving about stealthily. They have good education and are married and well settled. Fortunately, whatever I analyzed they have good husbands, friendly and understanding. Perhaps they don’t miss their father. But I still don’t know why they don’t miss their mother. Do they blame their mother for their father’s monarchical rule? Did they miss a lot while growing up? I have heard that the eldest daughter had a bad headache and could not complain about it, and silently went about her floor-mopping task, fearing another beating from their father. After jethima passed away, whatever her daughter’s did was mere formality and they were moving like robots.

The son is different. He was bold enough to marry outside his community. And his wife is still a mystery to me. I have heard that she is the epitome of a bad daughter in law image. She beats everybody near her reach when she is angry. I don’t know what makes her angry in that household. I have never heard anybody going beyond the minimum decibel. She wants all the property in her name, good, and who says she won’t have. After all she has legal rights over it. But can this be an issue to fight and be rude? Oh, I should say that she has never behaved badly with me. I am her devrani, and she has always behaved gently with me. I saw her during the sradhha ceremony, her face like a thundercloud. She could burn everybody with her eyes, specifically her two sister-in-laws.

I am at a loss with the kind of chemistry this household shares. Perhaps the head of the family with his tyrannical rules have failed to unite the family and their feelings for each other. With the passing away of jethima, I can vouch that the two sisters and their only brother will never ever meet. Because I also heard that, the two sisters have signed the papers withdrawing their claim to their paternal property.

I also heard that jethima was on a prescribed diet with restrictions of all kind. She could take water only to gulp her medicines. It still fails me why, before going to the hospital she had a full cup of strong coffee and a hot haldiram mixture. Perhaps this is what is called slow poisoning.

In short, as a total outsider, I saw a family crumble due to some unexplained forces. Some would say this was destined. In my heart, I have a nagging feeling, things could have been different.